Muka macam dia.
Pakcik dia ke? Hm...
Tengok lelaki tu senyum, gelak2..
Teringat kat dia. "
Its been around 5 years I think..
Still, it affect me alot.
Maybe because he is the first one.
People say first love is not easy to forget.
True indeed.
Even his house just behind my house,
I rarely see him. I know he avoiding me.
Just sometimes, I manage to hear his loud voice shouting to his friends.
Since my room is at the back, my window can direct see his house.
Whenever I heard his voice, I think my body freeze for a moment.
His aura still give me nerve wrecking.
Whenever our eyes met, we both will try to distance ourselves.
Avoiding each other will be better for us. Or else, we will start fighting again.
He sometimes drop by in front of my house to play with Dania and Adam.
What I remember he is very lovely especially to the kids.
And of course he will do that when I am not around.
Back then, he always know what I'm doing..where I go..with whom...
Even he did not show his concern to me, but everyone around us know he did concern.
He is someone who don't know much about being romantic.
Don't know how to treat a girl.
Very rude and loud.
We used to fight most of the time we met.
And that's how we fall in love.
He always find excuses to talk with me.
Even for stupid things..
Since he close with my brothers, so he always hang out at my house.
My house is his 2nd house. We were very natural that time.
Like siblings. Sharing everything with him.
There was one night, he sang to me a song.."Delima Cinta by Ungu" thru phone.
The lyrics give us deep meaning. I know what he felt at that time..
But I can't help it. I just too young to understand.
About us being parted, I don't know exactly what happened.
Yeah, I think it started from me.
He read my diary. And mad at me.
After that, he changed a lot. We were fighting.
And because of narrow minded, I ignore him since I stay at UPM at that time.
I did not back home for awhile, finding thousand reasons to stay at UPM.
Acting like he is the who to be blamed.
Without thinking actually it was my fault.
And he start seeing this one girl..our friends said he did that to forget me.
Broken into pieces. That's how i felt at that time.
And I believe he felt that same way.
After a year, we decided to talk.
We went out that night, expressing what is wrong what is right.
And again, I'm being too stubborn..we fight again.
And that night was the last words we shared.
5 years has passes...we still do not dare to speak even one word to each other.
Last year, I bumped his dad in front of my house.
His dad was trying to make us close again.
His dad even force me to call him asking him out..
I gave many excuses, plus I don't have his number saved on my phone,
Then, his dad use his phone, and call him..
And when I said 'Hello..', he just silent..and after a few seconds he cut off the line.
How miserable I felt at that time..and sure same goes to him..
..I don't have his number saved on my phone, but I do have his number saved on my mind. He forced me to memorize his phone number before, in case I lost somewhere without money/ phone in my hand..
..He used to sang Aishiteru by Zivilia, Ku bukan aku by Tilu when I got so busy with campus life..deep meaning - till now, whenever I heard these songs, my heart feeling sick..
- So close yet so far -
